GERMANY – I am Michael Jordan, a professor for urology and deal with about 60% men and 40% with women. I also deal with women as a business and health coach. Wealth without health is a waist.
#AskHim Q & A with Michael Jordan
Men are said to be weary of doing business with women these days, they’re scared of being sued for sexual harassment.
1. What do you really think about women who are in leadership positions or own a business?
I think that women are very strong to be in leadership positions because they use both their left and right brain. I think they are just badass. They are probably more competent than men are. Most of them just need to develop their minds and know that they can do it.
And, how do you think women should conduct themselves around you as a man?
They should behave naturally as themselves. Because in a leadership position it doesn’t matter if you are a man or woman. What matters is what you do. If you got that position it means you’ve earned it. All you need to do is just do that job; make decisions when you have to and not care what others think about you.
2. Is it true that men are intimated by powerful women and prefer “weak” damsel in distress type of females?
Some people are intimidated because they are not prepared enough. If they were prepared to get the job done for instance, it wouldn’t matter if it’s a man or woman being powerful. In most cases with men, it’s the testosterone hormone that may cause them to be uncomfortable. He is expecting to be the leader at work or at home, so that is most probably why he would be uncomfortable if the woman out-performs him. I wouldn’t necessarily say “intimidated” though.
3. Do you think that women are as “innocent” as the world portrays them? Men are bashed everyday for multiple reasons. Do you think it is fair at all?
It’s a perspective, women make mistakes just like men do. It’s all about her development and education. Men also need the time to grow and not make the same mistakes again. We shouldn’t make it about gender because nobody chooses it. We are all born as we are, it is nature.
4. How do you as man want to be treated by women you work with AND in a romantic relationship?
She should just be herself and do what her job requires. If she has to be strong then so be it. Take a look for example here in Germany our Chancellor Angela Merkel; she is respected because she gets the job done. It doesn’t matter that she is a woman or man, and she’s doing a phenomenal job as a leader.
In a romantic relationship…
The business role should not be mixed with the personal role. If she’s a leader in business or work that is fine. But at home it has to be loving, warm and respectful. A man and woman should respect each other first of all as human beings.
Then communicate and decide what each of your roles will be. Whatever problems arise, the love and respect for each helps to get through that.
5. How should women respond to men who ask for sexual favors? But still fear being treated badly by the boss, lose their job or not get a business deal?
If he is making sexual advances, she can have a face-to-face discussion with the man and tell him directly that she doesn’t like that he is making sexual advances. That she does not want her job or business deal jeopardized because she is saying no to him. If that doesn’t help then she should seek legal action against him.
But if the approach is respectful from the man, he is not married and looking for a relationship, it is not wrong. Unless she doesn’t want that, then again, she must have a conversation with him about it.
6. What is it that most men are willing to buy expensive gifts, vacations and alcohol for a woman but won’t invest in her business idea?
If the man doesn’t believe the relationship is worth the investment then the woman must evaluate if the relationship is right for her. Maybe there is not enough love or trust, and if he doesn’t believe in her enough then he isn’t right for her. Also, maybe it’s the woman who isn’t right for the man.
7. Why is it that men find it so hard to communicate, show and share their fears with their romantic partners?
They are afraid of not being fully understood and looking weak. Because they don’t trust the woman enough in order to open up to her, there isn’t enough love.
Trust is a process, it doesn’t happen over night. It goes day-by-day; if you don’t have trust then you build trust. If there’s not enough of it, he will not open up.
This isn’t only in romantic relationships but also in business. You have to be loyal, deliver, your word is your bond.
8. Why is a woman cheating so “unforgivable” to a man, when men cheat all the time?
If you cheat once then you will do it again and once you’ve cheated the trust is gone. I read a quote that said; ” A real man doesn’t need to cheat, in order to be a real man.” It goes for both men and women. Because if a woman cheats then it means the love is gone, what’s the point of being in that relationship. It’s just not right.
9. Do you think it’s better that a woman tells you how she wants you to make love to her? OR Does it make you feel insecure?
I’m a Urologist and also sexologist; from that standpoint I can tell you, a healthy sexual relationship strongly relies on communication. If you don’t talk about what you like or don’t like then there will be a lot of frustration.
If one partner has a tendency that you don’t like then you have to communicate that. Because that is how you will be free to fully enjoy your sexual life. Open communication is the right way to live your sexuality and life in full.
10. Do you find easy or hard to talk about debt with your romantic partner at all?
If there is a need to talk finances with your partner then do it.
11. How do you pick a woman you want just for sex or long-term relationship?
If I knew the answer for that, my name would be God. I personally believe that there’s a chemistry that makes two people feel attracted. The woman is more prone to know who the right partner is. That happened with me and my wife. She told me that when she saw me, she knew I was the father of her kids.
We met in Romania, shortly after she moved to Italy and we didn’t see each other for many years. But during that time she always kept in touch with me. Until one day she was prepared to move to Germany where I was, and, using her own words…she said, “You’ve ran your horses, now it’s time to settle down.”
We are happily married with two children and I’ve always been faithful and in love.
But as doctor and someone who does alternative medicine I will tell you; I think that her smell, her chemistry, went into my hypothalamus. That’s when I knew that she is the one. You feel who is your other half is and know in your gut then go for it. Women know first, most of the time.
12. Is there anything, business or personal that women do that is extremely annoying to men, that they aren’t unaware of?
I don’t think so. I think you have to be natural, truthful and free to articulate your wishes and needs. Then everything will be fine.
13. Do you think that women are still victims of society or are they becoming bullies without knowing?
A woman is a victim only if she wants to be. It’s not about society, it’s about your personal strength as a person. I believe in the freedom of being able to live the life you deserve. If you let someone victimize you then you don’t love yourself enough. You will be the victim of yourself first before you become the victim of anyone.
Because if you don’t love yourself, how can anyone love you?
14. Do you feel disempowered by women or do you feel men still hold ALL the power? And who should be head of the household?
In a real relationship, there’s no number 1 and number 2…that’s a r.e.a.l relationship. If you have that kind of relationship then I believe you don’t belong in it. I’d never be in a relationship that makes me fee like I am number 2. If you treat yourself like a number 2 then so be it, that’s how you want to be treated.
But you have to share your values with your partner. I always say that if you don’t like me then it’s not my fault, it’s yours.
18. Why do men really cheat? And lie about their marital status?
Men cheat for a variety of reasons; firstly, because they don’t love the woman enough. Second, they want to prove to themselves that they still got it. Third, his woman is probably not giving him sexual satisfaction anymore. But it’s also the same on the other side, women also cheat for the same reasons.
The most fundamental reason for cheating is that there is not enough love, trust and respect in the relationship. Because when all of that is there, you will never cheat.
19. What are some of the “tell signs” of a man in love with a woman?
She will be the Sun for him, she will be the day, diamond, the breath. She will know, love is love. You feel love. On the other hand, I read once in a book that love is a verb, it’s a doing word. If a person tells you they love you; what does that mean?
Love can be different, it can be making coffee in the morning, taking care of the finances, or the home…you know. Years ago I read a book called “The 5 languages of love” – if you haven’t read that book yet, I strongly recommend it.
Everyone of us speaks all 5 languages of love but one will be most dominant. You not only have to know your love language, but also know your partner’s and children’s love languages. That way you can have more harmony and love each other right.