Cape Town, SA – Hi my name is Samareh Lilith Rahnavardi. My coaching clients and friends call me Coach Sam. I’m a positive psychology coach practitioner, Dermatini method facilitator, entrepreneur and public speaker. Today the hot topic on the “Powered by Sam” column…is Love.
When I was a little girl I use to be obsessed with a brand of a chewing gum called “Love is…”
It was written exactly as I said, Love is and three dots. Every time you would buy a gum you would get a new message of what love is. I kept them all and I created a little book for all my “love is…” messages.
I was fascinated with all those writing about what love would be and the pictures on it. I would even be such a good girl so I could ask my grandmother or mom for a reward and get a “Love is…” gum.
Only if you saw that little face of mine with the biggest smile when I would get my gum.
Do a search on google for “Love is…” chewing gum it will actually pop up and you’ll see what I mean and why I would get so excited and I wanted to have them all.
But what is love?
The messages would be something like: Love is…
- … When you are somebody’s valentine.
- … When you watch TV together.
- … Heartbreaking without that special person.
- … Lending him/her the money that you know will never return.
- … Not trying to impose your ideas to others. And so much more.
I think it was from that simple idea of someone making chewing gum with messages of love that I got so inspired to learn more and more about what love really truly is.
I read the messages for my friends and taught them what it meant. I would get so deep with the idea and the meaning of it all that I lost interest in the actual chewing gum. But all they wanted was the actual gum. Since I was a child, I was amazed by the wisdom of love and had intense feeling of understanding the truth of love with wisdom.
Here it is part of what Love is…
The real love, which is true unconditional love has nothing to do with the romantic love that we all seek or feel deprived of.
I don’t have anything against romance please don’t take it the wrong way. There are times I miss a moment of romantic interaction or a romantic gesture.
It is all beautiful, but the truth is that love as what really truly means has nothing to do with the word romance, yet romantic love can be one of the different kinds of love.
Which to be honest, is a selfish one too, I am winking and smiling. Have you notice when you just get involved with someone and have romantic relationship… deep down, you kind of want to keep that person all to yourself?
You may feel a little jealous when he/she spends time with some other friends more than you, even if you hide it with a big smile. Or if you won’t get involved in some gathering you may get so hurt thinking oh why he/she didn’t take me with and so much more.
Yes that is what I’m trying to explain, that romantic love can be selfish at times, but yet it is beautiful and very exciting time of a relationship. Yet love is something so much deeper and so much more profound than all those.
Vs What it truly is…
True love is unconditional and is selfless and understanding, it is kind and its patient, and we all are guilty of failing at it over and over again.
The truth is that romance has been planted in our psyches as a model of love, and I believe that needs to be undone.
What we consider a romantic love is a breeding ground for addicted, craving, grasping feelings and behaviors that cause more pain in the world than almost anything else.
Yet we all still crave it and at some point experience it. Everyone want that feeling of belonging and feeling of being a part of a little family or commitment, but believe it or not funny enough those that don’t have it seek it.
Those who have it want to somehow get away from it. Welcome to being a human being. Love comes differently. Sometimes, in the form of one and other times, in the form of many.
But, unfortunately when we set our focus on finding the one, we lack the recognition of that love that comes in the form of many.
So with all said I am now going to leave you with three elements of true love and I leave you with your beautiful thoughts. To see what you would love to choose as experiences of love.
And in your beautiful world I leave you to think it, desire it, claim it and bring it to reality and live it. But remember that love is rather to be given than received. Once you give and express it freely and genuinely, you will get it tenfold back. And that fact is the beautiful truth my friend.
Three elements of true love are:
May you give it, share it, receive it, express it, demonstrate it and become it!
Tell me what you think, on Instagram @starwomanglobal