Sat. Nov 16th, 2019

Living with an Eating Disorder, Unknowingly

INTRODUCING HIS GRIT MAGAZINE – I lived my childhood as a big kid. I use the word big instead of fat because it’s less triggering. Kids used to call me “Double D” because my name is Daniel and I used to have man breasts. The bullying I went through has, undoubtedly, caused me a great deal of emotional difficulty; I spent most of my high school years severely depressed because of it. I knew  I was depressed because my psychiatrist diagnosed me with depression. What I didn’t know was that I had been suffering from bulimia for almost 5 years of my teenage life.

Eating for Joy

I’ve always loved food, I would eat a lot and never had a problem with my body. Although, I was big until I got bullied in high school. From then, I started antagonizing my body. I still ate, until one day I found myself standing in front of the toilet; I shoved a finger down my throat, and I started throwing up everything I had consumed in the meal I had just eaten.

I found myself growing a habit out of this one time. I would consume so much food, get off the dinner table, run to the bathroom, and throw up everything. My idea of it at that time was that it was easy; it was as if I hadn’t eaten at all. It made me feel less guilty. I never thought there was anything wrong in doing so; on the contrary, my silly young-self thought it was a brilliant tactic.

Years passed, I was applying for college, and although I never lost any weight out of it. I would still run to the bathroom after consuming a heavy meal. I just never stopped doing it.

It was in college when I started committing to a healthy diet, I had grown tired of my heavy weight, doctors warned me of diabetes and other health risks. I started going to the gym and I gradually became fitter. Bulimia had nothing to do with it. And let me just be clear that I only knew I was bulimic four years after I’d stopped running to the bathroom.

Boys & Men also suffer Bulimia

During my senior year, I was taking an introductory psychology class to fill my electives. One of the chapters was about Eating Disorders and that’s where I learnt about Bulimia. It was in the middle of an 11 am college class that I was informed that I had suffered from Bulimia for 4 years of my life.

The world falsely assumes that women are the only victims of Eating Disorders, that they are the only ones who suffer body image issues. That’s not true! One out of 3 patients diagnosed with an eating disorder is male. We get bullied because of our bodies; if a man is too short or too fat or too skinny, that takes some of his manhood away. This issue is severely overlooked by society because women are considered to be the more prominent victims.

Here is where I call out to all the boys and men who have been victims of body image abuse, and subsequently suffer from an eating disorder. Take care of yourself and your health and go visit a healthcare specialist to help you treat your disorder.

Tell the men in your lives to visit us on His Grit Magazine for more.  Publishing next on 30th May 2019.

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Living with an Eating Disorder, Unknowingly

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