JOHANNESBURG, SA – Hi my name is Freddy Mabika Ntumba, 36 years old entrepreneur, IT specialist and wheelchair rugby athlete. Originally from Congo and mostly God fearing man!
#AskHim Q & A with Freddy Mabika Ntumba
Men are said to be weary of doing business with women these days, they’re scared of being sued for sexual harassment.
1. What do you really think about women who are in leadership positions or own a business?
Personally, I love powerful women. I love that they can challenge me in thinking, planning and things like that.
And, how do you think women should conduct themselves around you as a man?
There will always be attractions when there are two opposite sex working with each other. Even if one is not attracted to the other, one will definitely also be. Because they are spending so much time together, one of the has to stop it if that is not what they want. Otherwise, something will happen between the two.
2. Is it true that men are intimated by powerful women and prefer “weak” damsel in destress type of females?
The problem with some powerful women, because of their position (being boss); they seem to confuse that role at home as well. I think that’s the problem that men have, a woman who comes home and treats you like she treats her subordinates at work.
3. Do you think that women are as “innocent” as the world portrays them?
I don’t believe anyone is innocent here on Earth. So no, women are not innocent, they are just like us men.
4. How do you as man want to be treated by women you work with AND in a romantic relationship?
A professional relationship at work is one thing. If she’s my boss then she should be telling me what to do; and I have to follow orders. But in a romantic relationship, she should treat me like her lover, not her employee. The two are so different and cannot be compared.
5. How should women respond to men who ask for sexual favors? But still fear being treated badly by the boss, lose their job or not get a business deal?
Say no! If you have to lose your job then it’s fine. Have some dignity and give yourself some value because you can always get another job.
6. What is it that most men are willing to buy expensive gifts, vacations and alcohol for a woman but won’t invest in her business idea?
Personally, I will definitely invest in my wife’s business but not my girlfriend’s business. From past experience; it was really really bad. So I’d rather buy gifts.
Because when you invest in something it’s because you truly hoping to be part of it. Investing in the business is the same as investing in someone’s life. You want to be part of it but now she’s just your girlfriend. She may go one day and then what?
7. Why is it that men find it so hard to communicate, show and share their fears with their romantic partners?
Well it’s just comes with Pride, nothing else. We are just too proud to to open up that way and show weaknesses. Which is wrong, but we are different from women; we are not as emotional.
8. Why is a woman cheating so “unforgivable” to a man, when men cheat all the time?
Cheating is cheating, whether it’s a man or woman, I think it’s unforgivable. So we shouldn’t be find it normal for a man to cheat. Because cheating is not a mistake or something that happens by accident. It’s very intentional. A person is very conscious when they cheat, so what you doing whether as a man or woman I believe it’s all wrong.
9. Do you think it’s better that a woman tells you how she wants you to make love to her? OR Does it make you feel insecure?
Of course a woman should tell me how she wants it. That’s me personally, if you want me to please you in a certain way, you should tell me. Communication is the key everywhere, so feeling insecure because isn’t right.
10. Do you find easy or hard to talk about debt with your romantic partner at all?
I find it easy. If you are in debt then you just are. And if a woman decides to leave you because of that then too bad. But that shouldn’t be the reason why you don’t talk about it.
11. How do men handle their finance/money different to women?
It works both ways. Can be a man that likes spending and the woman is the one who is organized. Personally, I’d let that kind of woman handle all our finances.
12. How do you pick a woman you want just for sex or long-term relationship?
Personally, I only get into a relationship for long term.
13. Does it matter how long a woman decides to make you as a man wait for sex if getting into a relationship?
It excites me if she makes me wait. I won’t force anyone, we must both want it at the same time. Not just using the other person as an instrument for sex. I can wait.
14. Is there anything, business or personal that women do that is extremely annoying to men, that they aren’t unaware of?
This one is a bit complicated. But most of us men complain about the fact that women can be controlling, insecure and easily get jealous. I don’t know why, but women tend to do this. It depends though.
15. Do you think that women are still victims of society or are they becoming bullies without knowing?
Slowly, women are becoming bullies. Women now feel like they are entitled to certain things and if you don’t do things their way, you get into trouble. They are also protected by laws. So yes, they are slowly becoming bullies without realizing it.
16. Do you feel disempowered by women or do you feel men still hold ALL the power?
Certain men do feel that women are getting things easier now, like jobs, they jobs and security; it’s women first. But I don’t feel like most men feel this way and personally I don’t feel disempowered.
17. Should men still be the head of household, WHY?
Yes! Because the Bible says so. That’s how God created us. In society we are all equal but in the house, the man must still lead. But you must still have proper communication.
18. Why do men really cheat? And lie about their marital status?
I don’t know, I am not married. But I think men are just not satisfied because you find a man who has a woman who seems fantastic but he still cheats. Or vice versa. Although we don’t really know what’s happening indoors, from the outside it may look great but behind closed doors it’s different.
Maybe the woman doesn’t even give you attention anymore as the man. Then you got to work and your secretary or colleague gives you extra attention which fills the void. Nowadays women also cheat though.
Men have this desire to always have something new, the excitement. But the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.
19. What are some of the “tell signs” of a man in love with a woman?
He just becomes stupid around her, that’s the #1 sign. When you look at him you wonder if that’s the same guy who’s confident from afar. But he gets scared around you because he doesn’t want to mess things up. Because he is in love he will act a bit weird around you.
A guy who is all mucho and confident is usually just there to play games with you and leave.
20. October is also a month of International girl child day. Do you think girls and women are given more attention than boys and men?
When you have a precious stone in your hand, you must take care of it, protected, clean and celebrate it.