WITBANK, SA – Dodai Dorothy is a speaker and certified transformation coach who helps women and men turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones. She’s the founder of Dodai Coaching that hosts empowerment events, group coaching and one-on-one sessions. We sat down with Ms. Dorothy asked her why she’s in the business of changing lives; here’s what she said.
The Birth of Dodai
Pain makes you grow. Brokenness makes you grow.
I’m often told that I make a positive impact on people when I engage with them. Be it on a one-on-one session or speaking to a group. It’s my greatest joy to see downcast face light up with a smile and spark in the eye.
Dodai was birthed from sharing life experiences for empowerment, transformation and personal growth. I had a lot of negative life experiences that could have made me give up. However my determination to live and not just exist, surpassed all that.
It led to my slogan…Cocoon to Butterfly, which stands for leaving the past behind and becoming someone new. Transformation!
Firstly, rejection fueled me. I grew up being called ‘o montshonyana’ (the dark one) in my family. I felt like an outcast. As a result, I was a very active child in school, participated in drama, drum majorettes, cultural activities, debate, etc. Looking back now, I actually excelled in that space because I could be myself; without any labels hovering over me. Be careful with your words, especially to your children!
I never had a perfect marriage model to look up to. So, I told myself I would rather not get married at all. And that when “thee” special man comes my way, I’d open my heart and be together forever. Oh little did I know, my heart was shattered. Have you ever literally heard the sound of your heart breaking and wonder if it can ever be whole again? My trust in men was also just as broken.
There’s nothing more ‘damaging’ than verbal and emotional abuse. It takes time to unfold and easily give birth to depression, bitterness and suicidal thoughts. My whole life was affected, until the first therapy session while being a student. It was all too much to deal with, the overwhelming emotions, trying to fit in with my peers and tertiary life. As a result I chose to bury myself in a variety of books. I lived a life of solitude. A nerd life can sometimes be a coping mechanism to underlying issues.
Car hijacked and kidnaped
On the 15 June 2017, I was hijacked and kidnapped while waiting for my brother outside his place. We were going home for the long weekend; it was supposed to be a lovely surprise visit for the parents. I remember the chill breeze, the darkness and the uncertainty of my location vividly. I was so determined to live and made a decision, it wouldn’t be my last day on earth. No way!
The incident was a wakeup call to inner self, my purpose. It made me realize I was not ready to die. I wasn’t scared of death itself but rather dying without fulfilling my purpose.
Everything that was bottling up inside came to the surface and in that moment, I knew I had to change;
- Self-talk, no positive self-talk took over.
- I became purpose driven, fully so.
- Focused on life than existence.
I know what it means to have a second chance and had to utilize it to the fullest.
Founder of Dodai (Coaching, Empowerment and Transformation)
Dodai Coaching encourages individuals to embrace their transformation process by understanding that each stage has its own time and objective. Yesterday’s pain might be for your strength and today’s pain might be for your character.
There’s time for everything in life and our race is not the same. Time taken for one to emerge might not be the same as yours. One displaying colors before you, doesn’t mean you are slow or you are a failure. You are still transforming, also the colors have to mix well.
This life journey is a transformation process. There are different types of butterflies and so are we as human beings. Your colors may be different from mine but when we work together, we compliment each other. I show people how to embrace their true colors.
Remember: Butterflies cannot fly well at first. They need a lot of practice.
Dodai means ‘Beloved’. You are the beloved with all that you went through. Your circumstances don’t change your identity.
BROKEN vs TORN APART
When coaching, we break society’s perception that when a woman is broken, it’s got to be a man’s fault; and vice versa. Dodai looks at the root cause regardless of gender. Sessions are held at different age groups and locations looking at the meaning and reality of brokenness.
What are the possible factors leading to brokenness?
The sessions between one-on-one and group indicated the following root causes:
- Childhood upbringing
- Rape and/or molestation
- Failed relationship
- Loss of a child or loved one
Does being broken or torn apart mean one can’t be whole again? Definitely not!
I look good…smell good…speak well…walk tall…
Everything looks perfect in your eyes, however, it was NOT always like that.
This was a group coaching session where we shared and began to heal the following life aspects; stressed, discouraged desperate, almost gave up in personal growth. Also experiences in corporate, business, relationship and servanthood.
Dodai Next Event; 8 December 2018 – Witbank
Theme: Let’s take stock of 2018
It’s a reflection event. We tend to make new year resolutions, mid term goals, etc. Some manage to achieve and some don’t… We are going to hear from achievers how they made it and what are some the failures they had to overcome; so others can learn from them.
I will also be tackling real issues such as depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts on the day. Have people who suffered from that talking out especially Christians.
To find out how to attend; email firstname.lastname@example.org