JOHANNESBURG, SA – Hi I’m Chad Fourie, Founder and Managing Director of THCSA (Tourism & Hospitality Council of South Africa). I mainly interact with women in my line of work and mostly as friends.
#AskHim Q & A with Chad Fourie
1. Men are said to be weary of doing business with women these days, they’re scared of being sued for sexual harassment. What do you really think about women who are in leadership positions or own a business? And, how do you think women should conduct themselves around you as a man?
I think it’s absolutely fantastic because women are on equal levels to men if not more. Women should know their power and conduct themselves with as much authority as men do.
2. Is it true that men are intimated by powerful women and prefer “weak” damsel in distress type of females?
Yes, it’s 100% true for most men. I think because women are capable of doing so much more than a man can in terms of skills, multi-tasking, getting things done and executing strategies. So it scares men that a female can, not only be in control of the household but also the workplace as well.
3. Do you think that women are as “innocent” as the world portrays them? Men are bashed everyday for multiple reasons. Do you think it is fair at all?
I don’t think women are as innocent, they can be everything a man can be. There’s no real different between the two genders, it is up to an individual. Also, women aren’t as stupid as the world may have painted them to be in the past, they have sharp minds and are usually 10 steps ahead.
4. How do you as man want to be treated by women you work with AND in a romantic relationship?
With respect and equally. I want her to understand that there’s no difference between her and I. Whether she’s a cleaner or Co-director of my organization, she needs to know that ultimately we are all human beings. We are of the same spirit, God sees us a human beings. She must keep her head up high, command respect and authority; and know that nobody can ever take her power away.
5. How should women respond to men who ask for sexual favors? But still fear being treated badly by the boss, lose their job or not get a business deal?
Always stand tall for what they believe and speak up, because chances are, she’s not the only one who’s been through that. Hence the #metoo movement, they need to band together and be courages. Because more often than not, women tend to think they’re the only ones going through that. But when one speaks up, then many stand up together.
6. Why is it that most men are willing to buy expensive gifts, vacations and alcohol for a woman but won’t invest in her business idea?
I think that’s because, it’s what women have allowed! They’ve also allowed the world to believe that is what they want. We don’t have perceptions out of nowhere, women have stood by and allowed the world to think all they want is a lavish lifestyle. Not enough women have stepped up to say, “No! That’s not what I want, don’t buy me expensive shoes, invest in my business instead. Those shoes are an investment for you as a man so I can look good next to you.”
So women need to come forward and stop that. Because ultimately when a man buys you expensive things and makes you look good, it’s just for his own pleasure, kinda like you’re his flashy toy. Allow him the opportunity to understand what your goals and dreams are, because that will truly be your reward as a woman.
7. Why is it that men find it so hard to communicate, show and share their fears with their romantic partners?
I think society has created a perception that men aren’t support to show emotion or be vulnerable because it makes them look weak. We need to change that and be who we authentically are.
If you are a man that is highly emotional, show your emotions because in the end, showing vulnerability is the biggest strength.
8. Why is a woman cheating so “unforgivable” to a man, when men cheat all the time?
Once again, society created a picture of this and there hasn’t been a strong enough voice from women saying; “You know what! Here’s one thing I don’t understand. A man can have 3 women and he’s the man but a woman has more than one man and she’s a whore?” (quoting Lil Kim and Christina Aguilera)
The more that women come forward and speak up about these things, the more that we will be able move forward. From the inconsistencies that society dictates, there’s a reason why women have the gifts that men don’t have. So they have to face the injustices against them.
9. Do you think it’s better that a woman tells you how she wants you to make love to her? OR Does it make you feel insecure?
I feel like too often, men only worry about themselves in the bedroom and not too concerned about the woman. A man needs to take the time to understand the intricacies of his current woman’s body; and realize that it’s not the same as his ex.
Pleasure is a two-way street, so the more he satisfies her, the more he will enjoy the experience. Often if you are honest in the bedroom about your desires, it leads to a long lasting sexual relationship.
Not only that, but also leads to passionate romantic relationships and marriages. So women must most certainly say what they want; for instance there are too many men who don’t even know how to work the clitoris.
So men must realize that if a gay man can know about a lot about the clitoris, then they can too.
10. Do you find it easy or hard to talk about debt with your romantic partner at all?
No, I think debt becomes difficult to talk about when you have regrets about how you got into it. And that goes for any kind of relationship, be it parent to child, sibling to sibling, man or woman.
It’s again another picture painted by society; that a man should be able to sustain a woman’s life. A woman should be able to sustain her own life too.
If she has a man that can take care of her, great! But women need to take their power back and know that no man owes them anything. Because in our modern society, finances can make or break any relationship.
11. How do men handle their finance/money different to women?
I think it depends on the individual, there’s no real difference unless we start stereotyping.
12. Does it matter how long a woman decides to make you as a man wait for sex if getting into a relationship?
I think a man chooses based on how easily he can get her. If you are going to be that girl who gives it up on the first date or after a few drinks then he will take you as a one-night-stand.
But if you respect yourself, he might too. I am not saying that all women who give it up on the first night will taken as easy that way.
Ultimately men don’t want a woman that seems to have been with too many other men. Which is another stereotype against women. So I think men also base that decision on whether or not the lady is “appropriate” to take home to his family.
On the other hand, there are women who are just too powerful for certain men. He’d rather sleep with her once or twice than deal with her everyday for a long-term period.
13. Does it matter how long a woman decides to make you as a man wait for sex if getting into a relationship?
It doesn’t matter how long, as long as both have a mutual agreement and desire for sex at any particular point.
14. Is there anything, business or personal that women do that is extremely annoying to men, that they are unaware of?
There are things that annoy me that they ARE aware of; like women who use their sexuality to get ahead professionally. There are too many women fighting for justice in the workplace for there to be so many others totally wasting their efforts by sleeping their way to the top. Competition is high nowadays for jobs and deals. Other fight fairly and others seduce and give sexual favors.
15. Do you think that women are still victims of society or are they becoming bullies without knowing? WHY?
Yes there are those still victimized. And, the ones who are fighting for justice sometimes become bullies without being aware. Because they’re not being heard the way they want, they are becoming angry and distracted from the actual cause.
16. Do you feel disempowered by women or do you feel men still hold ALL the power?
I feel empowered by women who feel empowered to be women.
17. Should men still be the head of household, WHY?
No, they can share roles. But ultimately in depends on the couple. A man can be a house-husband if they both agree, for instance.
18. Why do men really cheat? And lie about their marital status?
Because men are just horny beings. They’re programmed to lust and desire sex more. Also, men cheat because they can and 90% of the time, their women let them get away with it.
19. What are some of the “tell signs” of a man in love?
Continuos effort, patience, kindness, desire to be with the person, respect, comprising for the person.
20. What would you say to both girls and boys, advice you’d give them to make the future much better than world we live in today?
I do think girls and women are now getting more attention than boys and men. That’s just the times we are in because they were once silenced so much.
Advice I’d give to boys and men is that it’s okay for girls and women to be strong. And females, it’s okay for men to be feminists as well.